Someone gave a link to a realistic goal weight website.  Now if I enter my current weight of 285 I get a realistic goal weight of 179, and if I enter my starting weight of 430 I get a realistic goal weight of 231; compared to 130 both are purty damn attainable.  According to a medical chart I should weigh within 104-134.  104?  Perhaps if this planet’s gravitational pull wasn’t so prominent then yes there might be a chance for 104, but as it is, we don’t live on the moon.

Honestly, let me get to 200 and I’ll tell ya what I feel like then.

So, I tattled on Mother.  The idea of blood clots was really weighing on me, and I also had the suspicion that I sounded like Chicken Little.  So while in the doctor’s office I voiced my concerns.  Mother tried to play this down with a, “But I’ve never had any problem with blood clots.”  I hollered back, “I don’t care!”  The doctor wheeled her lil stool over to Mom and mimicked my reply, “I don’t care!”  Then I pointed at Mom and said, “See? See?”  Our doctor said abdominal surgery is very high risk for blood clots, doesn’t matter who the hell ya are.  So she suggested Mom do the knee surgery first.

Unfortunately this means Mother has to cancel her surgery once again.  She’s purty bummed and feels like she’ll be fat forever.

The other day at my therapist’s office we were tryin to figure out whether it was safe enough for me to sit down on her chaise.  It’s wicker, so I was worried.  So she says, “Well I’m about 240 pounds,” and commences to bounce on it.  Right away the chaise starts to show strain.  

ME: Well that’s not a good sign.

THERAPIST: Well to be fair, the only weight this can support is a very small ten year old.

ME: So what if I break it?        

THERAPIST: Pffft!  I was gonna get rid of it anyway.

So now that I’ve found a more supportive area of this chaise lounge I ask her, “So you’re my therapist, you of all people should know this; Am I evil?”

“Of all the people I’ve met in this lifetime I must say you’re least evil person I’ve ever known.”

Even before I asked this next question I knew the answer.  “Yeah but how many people have ya met?”

“A lot.  Believe me dear, a lot.”

After all, this gal traveled the world when she was a kid and was a nurse in the Vietnam War.  So yeah, it’s safe to say she’s met her fair share of folks and possibly has a good definition of what evil is.  It was nice to hear that I wasn’t one of ‘em.