Thank the Lord in heaven!  There was a Chili's just down the corner from the hotel we stayed.  Unfortunately no Long Islands for me since it was only 2 days from surgery, but I did have them damn fine Buffalo tenders.  All mine!  Didn't even share!  And the Chicken Ranch sandwich -- which also includes the same spicy Buffalo sauce.  See a trend here?

Thought I was gonna explode, but didn't care.  I wished I'd order more, only because I knew the dreaded liquid diet was upon me.

I took my Magnesium Citrate around 4.  For all you Pre-Ops out there, get the Fleet's Enema instead.  I'm serious.  In about a couple hours I was squirtin out nothing but stomach acid.  Can you say, Owww?  My ass was on fire.  It ate through my skin and I bled like a stuck pig.  This went on till about one in the morning, and I was still going by 8 the next day.

My surgery was later in the day, so we didn't get there till around noon.  I had my surgery at St. Agnes Hospital.  One of the number cool things they do there?  Complimentary Valet Parking.  If you have a handicapped tag they'll do it for ya all the time, otherwise it's only for those who are patients (dropping 'em off and pickin them up, things like that). So no worries about parking.  

So they take me into the pre-op area and tell me to get undressed and put on my one-way nightie.  (This is the first clue that sooo many people are going to see you nude today.)  

The nurse who put my IV in was very sweet.  She had a lil trouble finding a vein.  She asked if I wanted numbing cream, but warned it might make her lose the vein.  So I told her I'd just suck it up, it turns out I didn't feel a thing anyway.  She also gave me a blood thinner shot and warned that it burns and really bothers some patients.  So I look away while she's giving it to me, take in a deep breath and she says, "So what do ya think?"  And I asked, "About what?"  She replies, "Well I'm done!"  Oh well pffft!  Once again I didn't feel a thing.

Now I'm just hanging out, waitin for them to go get Mother.  A chaplain comes by.  She's a dear, sweet old lady and asks of my religious preference.  I reply Buddhist and then she asks if I'd like prayer.  Pfft!  Well sure, every bit helps.  She states that she believes in Jesus Christ and that's how she would pray.  After praying she says that she doesn't know much about Buddhism.  I tell her that basically they embrace all other religions and just like everyone else, want Peace.  She then tells me, "Well you can't have Peace without God dear."  I thought it was ironic because before arriving at the hospital I watched a documentary about children of war  -- most of the wars being fought over nothing but Religion.  But I just smiled and patted her hand.

Mother comes in and she's a total nervous wreck.  I asked the nurse if she could her some Valium. It's about 1:30 by now and Dr. Felix came in to see how I was and said he'd be ready for me in about 30 minutes.  Then the anesthesiologist comes in and pokes at me a bit.  However there's some concern about me not being able to give a urine sample (I was all tapped out).  It's a State Law to check and see if you're pregnant or not.  My Mother and I assured them that unless it was a divine conception, I won't be pregnant.  So I just signed a lil sheet and they took my word for it.

Ten till two they start wheeling me off.  Now up until this point I'd been very calm, not worried at all, but while they're wheeling me down the hallway fear began to sneak up on me -- I suddenly found myself wondering if I could hop off the gurney and make a break for it.  Obviously I didn't.  Now I'm in the operating room and I gotta scoot over to that cold, hard and extremely narrow table.  I manage to maneuver myself on to it.  Now I'm lying there, each of my sides oozing off the table.  They pull out these lil side trays and I lay my arms on 'em.  They spray something in my mouth called Hurricane Spray and it goes all numb.  All the while I'm jabbering away asking questions like, "Do they play music while doing surgery." (Turned out Dr. Felix doesn't care for the music being very loud.)   I must have too chatty because the anesthesiologist said, "Let's put something in there to relax her."  Then he says, "You should be feeling sleepy now."    No, didn't feel anything yet.  "Where'd my lips go."  Then I remember nothing else.