I woke up to folks pokin me and calling my name.  I asked if he (Dr. Felix) was able to do it Laproscopically.  The anesthesiologist replied that yes he did.  My stomach wasn't in a lot of pain, but oh dear God did my back ever hurt.  Apparently I was in surgery till 5, so three hours on the lil narrow table from hell had took its toll.  Also I thought sure I was gonna be sick.  The nurse told me, "Sweetie you don't have anything in your lil tummy."  I still did my best at coughing and retching.  The anesthesiologist came back, shot something into my IV and said, "This will help with your nausea."  And it sure damn did, I immediately felt better.  I told them about my back so they gave me some morphine.  Then they gave me this lil button and said to press whenever I need pain relief.  Is there anything more wonderful than patient controlled morphine?

I slept all through recovery and woke up in my room and found Mom was there waiting for me.  I was in and out of it and don't really remember much.  I told Mother that all she was doing was watchin me sleep, so she might as well go on back to the hotel.

Sometime around 8:30 ish I woke up and asked if I could walk yet, but the nurses weren't really sure and said they'd ask my doctor about it.  More sleepy time.  Then around 11 they let me get up and walk.  I was surprised by how easily I was able to sit up, surprised the nurse too.  The nurse walked with me around the nursing station. About halfway she asked if I wanted to stop or go ahead, I opted to go on and she seemed very pleased.

Thanks to the morphine I had no trouble sleeping the first night.  I also have problems with my legs going numb and tingling when lying on my back, but thanks to the lil compression booties, no worries there.  I still had the oxygen mask throughout the night and part of the next day.  That really didn't bother me.  The thing I hated?  That miserable lil screeching machine that measured my oxygen levels.  I've never been tested for sleep apnea, but my PCP and I concluded I probably did have it due to my excessive weight gain over the last year.  So I'd be laying there, almost off to dream land and then suddenly, "SCREEEEEECH!" The nurse would tell me to breath deeply.  

The nurses at St Agnes are a dream.  They were so darling and sweet.  And believe me, I bugged 'em a lot.

Unfortunately the next day they ran off with my morphine and I was very sad.  That's also when my back started killing me -- that's just how hospital beds are.  The funny thing is, I could rarely get to my controls.  Now picture my wide ass.  Now picture a hospital bed with a phone, nurse call button and bed controls all in it.  So everytime I go to get back in bed, I'd knock everything off.  Sigh..  I'd have to ask my roommate to call the nurse and tell 'em I have sooo many problems.

Because of my back I hardly slept at all on the second night, and instead just walked a lot.  I assumed I was doing really well until the next morning when I asked Dr. Swartz, "Can I go home today?"  And he said, "No."  Why the hell not?  He told me I hadn't drank enough water.  Well crap!  The Goddamn water is all the way over there on that table most of the time.  So he asks, "How come ya wanna leave anyway."  I told him that everyone was wonderful, but my back was killing me.  So he says, "I tell ya what, if you drink a liter of water today I'll let ya out tomorrow morning."  Not good enough!  Then he says, "Well if you can drink a liter of water by five today I'll let you out this evening."  No problem!

So I drank my water, got rid of the screech-a-thon and got my IV yanked out.  And I was outta there.

First off, if anyone is going to Fresno for surgery, stay at the TownePlace Suites by Marriot.  It looks brand new and they keep that place spotless.  Also very well insulated, we rarely heard a peep from our neighbors.  They even installed a hand held shower for us. Every suite has a full kitchen which is nice for extended stays.  We stayed in a two bedroom suite for about $100 a night.

We got to the hotel and I had a helluva time getting comfortable.  Mother ended up scooting the chair over to the couch where I was sitting with my legs up, she then piled pillows into the chair so I could rest my arm on 'em.  I was so exhausted I ended up falling asleep that way.  Meanwhile Mother ran off to Target to buy a foam topper and some body pillows.  Although the foam topper helped some, it still bothered me to sleep on my back.  I tried several different positions with the body pillow, but still wasn't happy.  I kept bouncing from the bed to the couch, all the while becoming hot and flushed.  Mother was really starting to wig out and said I was gonna make myself sick.  We finally found a solution by putting a couple of pillows under my knees to take the pressure off my back.  I was finally able to sleep.

The next day I felt fine.  Sipped at my water and protein shakes, took my vitamins.  It took me about two hours to get through a one pint bottle of Aquafina.  I'd drink about a liter of water and get the rest of my liquids through protein shakes or broth.  I also would do my lil walks down the hallway.  I did also have very black and loose stools, but other than that I felt damn fine for someone who had just undergone major surgery. 
However Sunday night a protein drink made me nauseous -- it was that Nectar crap.  I laid down and two hours later it passed.  Monday morning I went to see the dietitian -- who was less than informative.  She didn't think Glycerine was a problem and was surprised to learn that ketchup contains sugar.  I doodled on my lil papers while she blabbered away.  However I did learn we are not allowed any bread, rice or pasta for the next four months.  I was very bummed indeed.

I had bought some protein tomato soup at the dr's office.  I was so thrilled, something besides broth. *thumbsup*  Alas, it made me hurl.  The rest of the day any kind of protein drink I tried made me sick.  I was not down with this.  Fortunately my one week post-op appointment was the next day. 
Tuesday at the doctor's office I weigh in to find I was still the same damn weight I was at the pre-op meeting -- 414.  They said it was fluid from the IV, blah blah blah.  Anyways, got my staples out and told Dr. Swartz about the nausea.  He said that was a common occurrence in  patients and gave me some pills for it.  Woohoo! 

Finally on the 17th, after arriving in Fresno on the 5th, we went home.  I was doin great, was now on mush and pureed foods.  I was able to drink 64 oz of water daily -- I could take in water much more easily than before.  I was also riding my stationary bike 4 to 5 miles a day.  But there was no denying it.  I missed food.  I missed the taste and texture.  I missed cooking.  Whenever Mom or Dad had something to eat I'd say, "Just let me smell it!"  I'd read cookbooks and take-out menus.  I'd dream about food.  It was nuts.  I was counting down the days till I could have solids -- Oct 1.  Then I had a brilliant idea:  I can have Hot and Sour soup!  So went to our favorite Chinese place and got me some soup.  It then occurred to me that I could have Stroganoff pureed in a blender.  I basically lived on these till my solid food day came.

October the first arrived and oh what a happy day it was.  I had been planning my menu in advance: Pizza Burgers.  I enjoyed being able to cook again and as usual, they were wonderful.  Unfortunately I got sick, assumed that I'd just eaten too much but I would later learn that wasn't the case.

I began tracking my intake on Fitday and learned I was only taking in about 400 - 450 calories a day.  I called the surgeons office and asked if there are a minimum number of calories I should be taking in.  The nurse replied, "Oh no.  In fact I'd be happy if you didn't eat at all."  This statement bugged me on so very many levels.  I went to my PCP the next day and she definitely wanted me to take in at least 600 calories, if not a bit more, and to also eat "real food" (non of that low fat crap) since I was only taking in a lil bit.  

So I went back home a happier gal and fixed spaghetti squash that night with homemade tomato sauce -- using Splenda instead of honey and it was still damn fine.  But once again, I had the pain in my chest and I got sick.  Earlier that day I had noticed I had not been able to eat the amount of cottage cheese that I usually could, but I just chalked it up to be being a morning thing.

Friday night I had a terrible time sleeping and for the first time in my life had heartburn.  I took a Nexium and urped it right back up.  I threw up once more and felt better.  That morning I tried drinking some water and threw that up.  So I called the surgeon's office and learned that Dr. Wong (The newest associate with Dr. Felix and low man on the totem pole) was on call.  He asked about my symptoms and said it couldn't be a stenosis or stricture of the stoma because they happen gradually over time and not that fast.  So he said to try and drink more water later and if I couldn't keep that down I'd have to go to the emergency room.  Otherwise they'd see me on my next appointment which was next Friday.  I was able to keep water down and even ate a lil soup that night.  But on Sunday night I was vomiting up bile.  I called again on Monday and was told to come in the next day.

I figured I had a stricture and assumed it would be all taken care on the same day.  At first it looked as though we drove 2 1/2 hours for a "Yep it sounds like a stricture."  This was Dr. Wong again and he was very condescending towards us.   

But wait!  I've forgotten to tell you the best part!  The best part was my weigh in, and mind you, it had been a month.  

Drum roll please

14 pounds

Nope, that was it.  All that suffering, all that riding on the bike and not to mention starving -- all for 14 pounds.  Whoopty shit.  I had lost 13 pounds the month prior to surgery AND I had great mass quantities of food.

So you can imagine my mood.  I asked Dr. Wong about why I'd lost so little, he threw out some typical doctor jargon and basically said, "I don't know crap." *thumbsup*  

So now back to the stricture.  They have a surgeon in Fresno who performs all their scopes and he says he would get me an appointment sometime next week.  Next week?  I want this over and done with now.  My Dad asks if there's a possibility that the stoma could close up in that time.  Dr. Wong says that couldn't possibly happen in just a weeks time.  But I'm still antsy.  Dad points out that he's off tomorrow so Dr. Wong says he'll call Dr. Chang to see if he has any openings.  (Note: My Dad is a big bear of a guy and Wong's a weenie lil Chinese guy.  Weenie lil guys often are happy to take orders from Dad as to opposing them.  Not that he would ever do anything, but the illusion does come in handy from time to time.)  It turned out he had some time right then.

Since I hadn't had anything to eat that day. (how the hell could I?) He could do the procedure right then. So I was whisked back to a pre-op room over at St Agnes, and told once again to remove all my clothes.  Sigh..  As I'm undressing I wonder how many people today will see my ass or boobs.  I wonder if they take pictures for keepsakes and take 'em home to show 'em to the wife and kids.  Maybe even now I have a website dedicated to me.  I wouldn't so much be upset about the pictures as I would that I'm not receiving royalties off 'em.

Anyways, in the hospital bed again and I'm scared spitless.  I don't know a damn thing about this procedure except that something's gonna be down my throat.  It turned out to be a breeze though.  They had me turn to my side and put a pillow behind me so I'd be comfortable, then they started to give me sleepy drugs.  I woke up a little coughing and gagging, but I wasn't awake enough to wig out and I fell right back asleep.  I woke up soon after the procedure and asked if they found anything and the doctor said yes, your stoma had narrowed.  In fact it was so narrow, he had trouble getting his instrument down there.  He didn't dilate it entirely for fear it would tear, so I do have to go back next month.  I have a picture.  I'm lazy at the moment, but I will try and post it tomorrow.

That night back at home I was purty damn angry and so were Mom and Dad.  If we had sat idly by while Dr. Wong scheduled me for next week I would have most assuredly landed in the hospital.

So between that and the fourteen pounds, I was so bloody depressed.  You really do tend to lose your faith in the medical community.  I was also scared to death it would narrow again, in fact I still am.  I'm not afraid of the procedure, but I don't want to go throw the pain, nausea and vomiting again.  Oh I know they say, "That's how you learn."  Well I'm sorry, but I really don't agree when you say it's wrong that I have a relationship with food.  Now I think it's wrong to have a relationship with a Water Buffalo, but food?  That's ok.  And hey, if you have the Water Buffalo's consent, I see no problem with it.

I don't believe I'm a bad person because I like food.  I don't believe I'm a bad person because I like lots of food.

And so every five minutes, it's a different mood: From I suppose I'm ok with the surgery to reverse me right now!  I imagine it will be that way for sometime.  

I have been happy for the past two days -- because I've been able to eat solid foods.  I was able to eat a veggie dog, after peeling the casing off, and some lil strips of chicken.  I also cooked up some fresh tomato soup.  I'm the biggest tomato fan and was appalled to find that all canned tomato soup has a high content of sugar.  So screw them, I made my own and it was so wonderful I'll probably never go back to canned.  And I also just finished up an ounce of smoked salmon.  No troubles so far.