Wow, that was unpleasant.

I had no problems with panic attacks on the way over to Fresno -- had a very nice drive, listened to some cd's and was very relaxed.  By now I'm an ol' pro at gettin scoped, so no worries.  I even helped the nurse put my IV in.  I thought watching the needle go in would totally wig me out, but it was actually purty cool.

I get into the lil procedure room and Dr. Chang says, "Well hello again."  He tells me that this time he's gonna open it up a bit more -- he mentioned 12 so I assume that meant twelve millimeters.  He said that when I was under a lot of anesthesia, I fought the scope, so they were gonna give me less.  Oh God was it ever less.  I was wide awake and alert when he started puttin that thing down my throat.  I coughed and spewed and gagged through the whole thing.

Now here I am with a lil plastic doo-hickey to keep my mouth open, a tube shoved down my throat and the nurse is tellin me, "Breath through your nose honey."  Pffft!  I was too lucid to think logically.  I felt everything and I mean everything.  When he started to dilate the stoma, that really hurt and he asked how I was doing and I just shook my head.  So he gave me a couple shots of Demerol, and that relaxed me quite a bit and kept the gagging to a minimum.  But I was never so glad when they pulled that thing out. Anyways when he came in to talk to Mom and me the first thing I said was, "Next time I wanna be knocked out."  He smiled and patted my leg and said, "There won't be a next time."  Oh good.

Since I had fought the scope so hard, my throat really hurt all day.  I ended up going home and sleeping for about 18 hours.  I'm still tired now, but at least I can eat again. *thumbsup*

They did weigh me at the hospital and I had lost a couple more pounds, but I really need to start exercising again.