Or do men always talk in the loudest voice possible just to make sure they have your full attention?  Right now I’m stuck inna house with two middle-aged men who are constantly screeching over each other to be the first one heard.

There’s just not enough Xanax in the world.

So I’m considering a revision, but I want another major surgery like I want a third arm shooting out from my back.  I wondered if you could add a lap band to your already existing pouch.  I assumed I was doing something intelligent by joining revision groups, but every one of the replies started out like this, “Well I’m not a doctor but it’s in my opinion that you need a more distal surgery or the duodenal switch.”  

I happen to like my intestines where they are thank you.  I’ve been to those BPD/DS groups and hey no worries there, they’re all skinny as rails, but they also talk about taking an extra pair of underwear everywhere they go because of occasional brown spots and accidents.  This is what happens when a surgeon removes most of your stomach and leaves about two inches of intestines.

I’ll chop my own head off before I ever have the duodenal switch.