I turn on Mother’s bathroom light and kill the power off again.  Earlier Russ uses the newer microwave that’s associated with the bad circuit and is surprised when he kills the power.  Being the smart one I always use the piece of shit microwave on the good circuit, and yet I flick the switch for one measly lil fluorescent light and the power dies once again; doesn’t exactly seem fair.  

So I get to wander out in the dark where I’m supposed to tap the main breaker.  Here’s what the neighbors got to hear:

*slamming screen door*  It would seem God enjoys sodomizing me daily.

WE NEED MORE LUBRICANT!

I’m chafing.  

Alright, any creepy crawly things out here just come and try it, I dare ya.  Tap the main breaker.  What the hell is the main fucking breaker?  I’m a gurl!  I don’t know this shit!  Oh, that must be it.

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Californian thunderstorms consist of rain and one clap of thunder, then the power goes out.

Mom asked me the other day, “What’s Kenny’s problem?”

ME:  What isn’t Kenny’s problem?  He’s poor, he’s stuck inna hoodie, people have trouble understanding what he says, he also comes off as sexually androgynous, he gets killed off in every episode and then rats feast on his carcass.  You know, he’s just Kenny.

I also enjoy doing my Jimmy im…puh…im…puh…impersonation.

If I were a South Park character I’d prefer to be the crazy school bus driver lady or Timmah!

In the lead are Toccara Jones and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, who will quite probably take the lead when Match Point opens in theaters.  Oh and Kirstie Alley’s fat ass waddles in for a disappointing third.  

Folks are extremely interested in nude pics of Toccara, and one ambitious person even thought they could find her email address.

Here are some other fun things people have searched for:

do people think expunging records is a good idea?
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wow uh, yeah have to agree with mikey on that. skittles all the way.
i saw you at the gym blog