It appears while he excitedly watched the Eagles lose he furiously masturbated into severe dehydration, but died with a smile on his face.

Well a gurl can dream can’t she?  Now explain to me again why he’s being suspended with pay?  After his latest antics it would seem that in fact, Terrell Owens must hate money.

I vote we hold his whiney lil ass down and let Donovan McNabb’s Mom pound on him for awhile, then kick him outta the league.

Yes yes, you’re a very talented athlete and I’m sure you’ll be most appreciated.  Oh T.O. can you say, “Oh Canada”?  There’s also the option of arena football.  It’s just like the NFL except it’s smaller and cute, much less popular and much, much less money.