CNN was busy droning on about Iraq.

HNN was fixated with the missing teen in Aruba.  I tell you what that gal must have given great head.

I’m not sure what FOX news was yammering about, but it was the O’Reilly factor so I presume it was mostly about him.

The L.A. news feeds were particularly worried that they were headed for a stage 3 electrical emergency.

The national network news was very concerned over a policeman in London pulling a gun onna suspect.

NBC did briefly mention there had been an explosion in the resort town of Sharm el-Sheik, but there was no word of casualties.  Yes a four star resort did burn completely to the ground a little after one in the morning, but we’re sure everybody’s fine.

Remember how every possible network and news channel ever created interrupted their regular programming for the dramatic OJ Simpson chase?

Minutes ago two large explosions hit the tourist town Sharm el-Sheik; heavily damaging a four star resort.

Here is the unfortunate advertisement Yahoo chose to embed in this article.

What exactly are their demands?  If we’ve learned anything from the recent article, Come See the Softer Side of Saddam, it’s that terrorists want snacks and lots of ‘em.

Certainly with all our high tech spy ware we must know the whereabouts of at least a few of these organizations’ headquarters.  I propose we drop provisions loaded with Cheetos, Doritos, Little Debbies, Hostess Cupcakes and Twinkies; and I must stress to the government that this is no time to get chintzy.  DO NOT send these terrorists off brand products unless your goal is to really piss them off.