What exactly are their demands?  If we’ve learned anything from the recent article, Come See the Softer Side of Saddam, it’s that terrorists want snacks and lots of ‘em.

Certainly with all our high tech spy ware we must know the whereabouts of at least a few of these organizations’ headquarters.  I propose we drop provisions loaded with Cheetos, Doritos, Little Debbies, Hostess Cupcakes and Twinkies; and I must stress to the government that this is no time to get chintzy.  DO NOT send these terrorists off brand products unless your goal is to really piss them off.