What?  Ya don’t approve of my new pretend hunk?  Would ya prefer I went back to previous pretend boyfriend Henry Rollins?  Well I can’t; I already flushed his pretend love child and it took a really long time with the help of a plunger because I was at least 6 months along.

Besides, I need to move back to my own age group.  Sure they don’t have substantial 401K’s, but at least most of ‘em still have all their own teeth. 

While the rest of the world is busy fretting over the London bombings or scrutinizing the G8 summit; a gaggle of sheep, who obviously have been watching too much CNN, threw themselves off a cliff thanks to good ol’ fashioned mass hysteria.  

From the Associated Press:

ISTANBUL, Turkey - First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.

In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.

"There's nothing we can do. They're all wasted," Nevzat Bayhan, a member of one of 26 families whose sheep were grazing together in the herd, was quoted as saying by Aksam.

The estimated loss to families in the town of Gevas, located in Van province in eastern Turkey, tops $100,000, a significant amount of money in a country where average GDP per head is around $2,700.

"Every family had an average of 20 sheep," Aksam quoted another villager, Abdullah Hazar as saying. "But now only a few families have sheep left. It's going to be hard for us."

SHEEP 1: Would you jump off a cliff just because Habib over there did?

SHEEP 2: Habib jumped off a cliff?  I am so there!

SHEEP 1: Hey wait for me!

Sheep, so easily led.