What?  Ya don’t approve of my new pretend hunk?  Would ya prefer I went back to previous pretend boyfriend Henry Rollins?  Well I can’t; I already flushed his pretend love child and it took a really long time with the help of a plunger because I was at least 6 months along.

Besides, I need to move back to my own age group.  Sure they don’t have substantial 401K’s, but at least most of ‘em still have all their own teeth.