Since Tarzan has been adopted, this is the new cat I’m sponsoring: Skittles.

Skittles is a handsome Maine Coon mix with a mellow and easy-going personality. He is great with kids, and loves to be picked up and held like a big baby. Skittles family moved away and left him at the SPCA. Skittles was unhappy being around all the other cats there, and didn't show very well to potential adopters. He is much happier now as a single cat in an AFRP foster home, and would be a wonderful pet for a family with no other cats. Skittles is four years old, neutered, vaccinated and micro-chipped. Give us a call if you would like to meet this big fluffy boy! (831) 333-0722

Unfortunately I had made a mistake when viewing the adoptable cats’ page and never read the fine print beneath the Salinas Animal Shelter: While the AFRP does try to rescue animals from shelters they are burdened with limited space and the city shelters do euthanize. 

Here’s one that particularly bummed me out.

Colin Feral plays his greatest role as a stray cat that is down on his luck and ended up at the Salinas Animal Shelter. He is hard-pressed to find an owner before his time runs out. So what's your motivation?-a great loving cat that can go home with you today and make your home a stage for a blockbuster hit. Colin is a 2 year old male, and is already neutered. For more information, call the Salinas Animal Shelter at 831-758-7285 and ask about Animal #26428.

  
Did they have to say,”Hard pressed to find an owner?”  I went to their site and was hard pressed to learn how long they keep animals before they’re euthanized.  Also, due to budget cuts all over the city of Salinas; you know unimportant crap such as schools, library, parks, youth centers; they’ve not surprisingly also cutback on the animal shelter’s funding.

Wanna hear my theory about who the Carver is?  If not, then this would be an excellent time to poke your eyes out.

It would probably be for the best if someone sat me down, patted my hand and said, “Honey it’s only a television show.”  But since noone’s bothered to do this I’ve been obsessively watching all the past Nip/Tuck episodes; combing over them and searching for clues.

Now a lot of people will put the blame on Matt, but these were also the same folks who thought it was Ava’s son Adrian – ooops, he’s dead now.  Way too obvious a choice anyway.

Julia’s not entirely stable herself; however she did have that epiphany after smashing head first into a sliding glass door.

Kimber is a fruitcup, but she’d never have the brains to pull it off.  Try and remember the lil speeches The Carver gave before he started slashing folks; in short, way too many big words for Kimber.

Now what ever happened to Dr. Santiago their resident therapist?  She seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

At times I’m suspicious of Liz.  She certainly fits the characterization of the embittered Carver and their obsession of societies’ view of the perfect beautiful person, but I could never see her hurting another human being intentionally.  She has your average inner turmoil but not enough to manifest this type of behavior.

This is why I regrettably keep looking at Sean.  We’ve seen too often that Sean is the type of individual to keep emotions bottled up inside.  He’s been Mr. Walks the Straight Line for too long and it’s starting to grate on him.  There have been subtle hints and signs from the beginning of this show.

Remember the first episode where they fed the dead guy to the crocodiles and Christian said that he found it a lil worrisome as to how easily Sean was handling cleaning up after a dead body?

Remember the multi-personality patient?  Sean asked Sassy where she went when Montana returned and then how he could get there.

What happened to Sean’s Yips? By the third episode of the second season they had suddenly vanished.

Sean’s car crash and the lil cut he received just under the eye.  It was soon after that episode that the Carver appeared.  

So my theory:  It’s Sean, but it’s not Sean.  He’s kept things bottled up inside so long that he snapped.  While he’s the Dudley Do Right he still desperately yearned to defy society, to be the bad boy, to be a bit more like Christian.  Sean has never been totally satisfied with his work as a plastic surgeon; he took on more pro bono cases in hopes of truly helping people as opposed to sucking out fat or making bigger tits.  Sean couldn’t kill Escobar, and The Carver has never killed anyone; only mutilated.  

Is there possibly anything more relaxing and luxurious than lounging around a hair salon and spa all day long?  Maybe, but not too many.

This is how I spent last Thursday; arrived at nine and did not depart till four.  Smashing highlights, facials, Martin Scorsese eyebrows ripped off; all wonderful and divine and yet it gets better.  I had the utmost pleasure of experiencing firsthand the most exciting and brilliant invention since the wheel.

Everyone leaned forward expectantly.

Are ya ready?

Eyelash tinting.  

No no no!  Don’t run off yet; I’m serious.  Every woman in the world needs to run out and have this done now.  I will never touch mascara again.  Not that I ever mastered the damn technique anyway, and even if by the grace of God I somehow managed not to have the dreaded spider lash look, a few hours later I would inevitably have the raccoon look.  Believe me I tried a shitload of products.  Even got this stuff from Urban Decay called Galoshes for your eyelashes; still didn’t work!

Now eyelash tinting?  No more raccoon eyes, no more poking your eye out with the damn brush and it lasts for four weeks.  And did I mention you wake up in the morning looking hot?

Pffft!  Nuff said.  

When fat gurls are in denial it is truly sad.  I had a gurl in my fifth grade class who swore up and down that she most assuredly was not fat; she just had big bones.  I told her, "Honey, ain't noone in the world have that big a bone structure."

Famed Tub-O-Lub and Scientologist Kirstie Alley claims to have lost 40 pounds on Nutri-System.  Or was it Jenny Craig?  Ya know, one of  those diet plans that provides their own meals.  I don’t care; good for her.  My problem is that before this diet she claimed to only weigh 200 pounds and she’s about 5’9”.

Here's me at 200 pounds and I'm only 5'2".	Here's Kirstie Alley at her claimed 200 pounds.
And in contrast here's a picture of model Toccara Jones who also happens to be 5'9" and weighing in at 205 pounds when the photo was taken. Please to note Toccara Jones is much hotter than either myself or Kirstie.