Dearest Allie, I saw you today through the eyes of an 18 week year old kitten.  It’s been almost five months since your passing and yet it seems like yesterday.  Through out this time I’ve racked my brain trying to understand the enormity of my grief; why the pain seemed unbearable and never ending.  

I’ve loved and lost a number of pets.  As a child I watched my house burn to the ground.  At the tender age of nine I wept over Mother’s miscarriage.  I saw my Grandpa’s twisted and lifeless body, shaded a freakishly cartoon yellow.  And yet nothing ever slammed me to the ground like your death.

But now I think I understand: You gave me the most priceless gift on this Earth; the purest form of love and devotion and unflinching trust.  And even in death you taught me how very precious life can be.  So now I emerge from grief and anguish not embittered and impenetrable, but hopeful and receptive.  

And so for you, I stay.