That’s what Mother said after I’d been frequently sneaking off with hers.  Yeah thanks to my Happy Holiday Weight Gain I’ve packed on 20 pounds, but damnit, I really did eat some good shit.  And everybody at the doc’s office totally believed me when I said that not only did Mother bake like a madwoman, she then held me down and forced fed me homemade biscotti, Russian Tea Cakes and Ritz Cracker Cookies – I was helpless against her new found strength.

Unfortunately ever since I’ve been having very nasty back and hip pain.  Now for a heifer I’m actually very flexible.  I learned this yoga/stretching move about 12 years ago that’s always kept my spine loosey goosey, but lately it won’t budge and is hard as a rock.  I honestly had to use a walker the other day.  Me!  A 28 yr old with a walker.  That just pissed me off.

I love my doctor.  I was telling her about my recent discovery of Eiswein, and since she’s of Austrian background she had many a story to tell about venturing to lil Mom and Pop wineries.  I told her that I just wish I had some on tap.  Then she tells me, “But you know, they’re high in calories.”  I said, “Yeah well, I’m onna liquid diet.”  She just laughed.