This is it.  This is my true love.  I know I say that every couple of months, but…  Well I can’t think of a convincing argument.  

Eiswein is German for Ice Wine.  I saw a special on Food TV a couple years back where this Canadian winery actually allowed their crop of grapes to freeze; because of this alone, they lose at least half their crop.  The frozen grapes that do get harvested are immediately crushed and started in the distilling process.  They claimed that the freezing somehow allowed more sugar to secrete and thus making for one helluva kick ass mellow wine.  Unfortunately this is obviously a time consuming, costly business and they were asking about $100 per bottle.

I personally have a hard time spending that much on something which can conceivably vanish in less than five minutes.  I might as well pour ketchup over five twenty dollar bills.

But…

As luck would have it, while searching for this precious nectar we happened on an actual knowledgeable person in the wine aisle at Whole Foods -- I know, we were surprised too.  We had found a Canadian labeled $60 bottle and asked his opinion.  He let us in onna lil secret:  He had just opened two cases from Germany and couldn’t believe the price they were asking; considering the taste was nearly identical to the Canadian’s.  $20, needless to say we say we ran home with quite a few bottles.  

This is without a doubt the best wine ever.  Seriously, even whiny folks who claim they can’t stand that “alcohol bite” will try to steal it from you and announce it to be their precious.

But just like an alcoholic charged with vehicular manslaughter whose plea is, “But it’s a disease!”  My surgeon told me to take it easy over the holidays.  So I surrounded myself with vodka, wine, and champagne, Ritz Cracker Cookies, Russian Tea Cakes, truffles, a bed pan, the remote control, warmie blankie, cats and a well formed butt groove on the couch.  Consequently it shouldn’t come as much of a shock that I gained 15 pounds.  Still it was rather distressing when I saw a reflection inna glass door of Jabba the Hut covered with lil fluffy blue clouds (presumably a night shirt).  Mother claimed the reflection from that particular glass door is very distorted, but when you have a person who can once again wear high heels for the first time in ten years and just purchased a push-up bra; then there’s an excellent possibility they’re just trying to make you feel better.

So today was supposed to be the start of, “I’m gonna stop eating crap and get back to eating healthier.”  But then my period started, and all women should be allowed to drink alcohol on the first day of their period – keeps the cramps and massacres to a minimum.