It’s such a conundrum.  I’m absolutely thrilled my revision isn’t going to be some nerve-racking, daunting procedure.  I’m also happy to announce that they won’t be ripping all my teeth out and replacing them with dentures; my gum problem isn’t even remotely as bad as I originally foretold; and the few lil spots on the tops of various teeth are actually just very recent cavities.  (Although the wisdom teeth are gonna have to be yanked, and the sooner the better.)

This is all great news and I can’t wait to get everything fixed, and yet the other part of me is taking a four year-old’s prone position; beating my fists, kicking my legs all the while screaming, “I don’t wanna!”

You go on ahead without me; I’ll catch up to ya later.

I’m too damn hormonal.  My premenstrual symptoms mirror the hormonal changes of a pregnant woman.  Or better yet: Eerily remind you of the Mothers who murdered their own children during a severe bout of post-partum depression.  Seriously, it’s like I’m trapped in someone else’s body and unable to escape for the next week or two.

Throw another medical procedure on the to-do list cuz I’m thisclose to having my uterus removed.    

I wish the Internet didn't exist.