Nuttin like a good ol’ over the phone medical history interview to send you into a full fledged panic attack.

INTERVIEWER: Would you like me to repeat the question?

ME:  No because I recall not understanding it the first time.  How about English this time and tell me what you mean.

INTERVIEWER: And what is the diagnosis for your back?

ME: Well my physician told me it felt at those two invertebrates were tilted ever so slightly in the opposite direction.

INTERVIEWER:  And is the medical diagnosis for that?

ME:  It hurts?

ME:  Ok, is this still the five year history or just anytime?

INTERVIEWER:  I’m sorry I didn’t understand your question.


Well I totally got the smoking, cancer, race car driver, rock climber, skydiving and rodeo performer questions right but I’m not entirely sure about the rest of the test.

Errr, I see a lack of insurance in my future.