I now know why Brokeback Mountain didn’t win best picture:

It was boring!

How does a two plus hour movie manage such a noticeable flaw as character development?  Brokeback Mountain had four main characters (by the way, if you blink you’ll totally miss Randy Quaid’s bit part; which makes his suing for more money even funnier) while Crash had too many key characters to even list and whose roles were significantly smaller.  Yet somehow you’re able to relate to Crash’s myriad of characters whilst Brokeback Mountain supplied you with two cowboys who said, “Yep”, and two cowgirls who said, “Nope”.  Unless of course it was Ang Lee’s intention to bore you senseless with mind-numbingly drab characters; then he did a fantastic job.

Seriously, it starts out with a couple cowboys doing cowboy type things and saying, “Yup”.  Then one night Heath Ledger’s character says, “What the heck ya doin there?”  Jake Gyllenhal’s character cries, “Kiss me you fool”, and we wind up with the big controversial love scene.  Well that was blown way outta proportion; I’ve seen gayer interactions between Matt Lauer and Al Roker on the Today show.

I kept thinking that it would eventually pick up and perhaps Heath Ledger’s character would share a few words as opposed to pretending he was Clint Eastwood inna Spaghetti Western.  I’m referring to the actors because I honestly do not remember anyone’s name in the movie.  The characters just completely lacked any impact.  

If you’ve yet to see this movie, don’t bother.  I literally had to force myself to stick it out through the entire movie, and that was only because I paid five bucks for it.  If you wanna be bored watch C-Span.