Well actually I’d have to make money off of it; so not exactly free.  

Why is it when someone’s in trouble I automatically assume it’s my job to save them?  

Ok SuperTwat, now that ya got yer lil red cape on where’s the money you need to pull these people outta their crisis? 

Ummm, I spent most of it last month. 

On the same people? 

Well yes, but I wanted to and it was supposed to be my vacation.

Now you’re going back for Christmas and all in a dither over the folks back there with problems.  So you must magically produce money outta thin air to help.

Yes, I’ve literally been scanning every room and wondering what I could sell:  Cabbage Patch Kids; not in mint condition.  It’d be hard to sell the piano out from under Mother’s nose.  To get a decent price onna a WoW account I’d have to play the stupid game day and night to level up, get the best gear, blah, blah, blah.  Not to mention I haven’t been on for nearly two years and there’s a gazillion updates and patches to download.  Clothes?  I gave a bunch away; clothing is the most annoying thing to sell on eBay. 

Plus it’s not exactly a seller’s market right now. 

No shit.  No valuable jewelry to speak of and this is MY GODDAMN LAPTOP!  And that’s MY GODDAMN NINTENDO WII AND WII FIT.  I do have some stock, but that’s supposed to be my lil nest egg; especially after what Dr. Dumb and Dr. Dumber did to me. 

Are you still bitching about that?

I have full complaining rights till the day I die. 

Fair enough.

It’s not like people ever ask me to do this at all.  In fact if they had any inclination of my intentions or my obsessions over how to get money, they’d throw a fit and demand that I stop.

And so this brings us back to porn.  Sure the economy is bad, but everyone likes boobies.  I could just set up another website…  I mean, I did get a neutered dog all riled up and hump everything in sight.  That’s gotta count for something, right?

Wonder how much I could make inna month?

Honey why don't you go play tennis?  Or watch a nice movie like Hero, Across the Universe or Hairspray?

Ok

No watching the IFC or Sundance channel, and for Godsakes no documentaries!

Not even a lil one?  Sometimes they have funny stuff on the Indie channels.

No!  I swear I'm gonna block those channels from you.

You'd have to block HBO and then we'd never get to see True Blood.

Damn!

Can I watch True Blood if it's on?

If True Blood is on I'm watchin too.

I think Jason wants to be a vampire.

I betcha Eddie will turn him before the season ends.

I am so there.

Me too.